I accidentally had phone sex last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize