Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
