Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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