I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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