so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you would pick up someone in the library
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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