so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
