im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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