everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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