I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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