never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
