I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize