I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
