her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
