So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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