If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
