Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.

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(417): View more from Missouri

He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...

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(228): View more from Mississippi

thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

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(250): View more from British Columbia

WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(708): View more from Illinois

he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

(1-708): View more from Illinois

ahaha ok

(708): View more from Illinois

let's call it "werewolfing"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?

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(404): View more from Georgia

The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.

(404): View more from Georgia

THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.

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