i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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