I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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