is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
