I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
