don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
if only i could text you this smell
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
