i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
