Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize