hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
