why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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