I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
