you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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