But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Your cock deserves a montage
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
