OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im holly from the hills drunk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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