Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
