You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
