They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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