Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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