Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
