Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
