Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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