she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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