i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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