The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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