I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
