Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
