Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
