He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
