Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
