slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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