You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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