she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize