I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
