FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
