Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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(816): View more from Missouri

critical mistake not lubing the nipples

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

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(734): View more from Michigan

he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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(+61): View more from Australia

can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

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(319): View more from Iowa

"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...

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(785): View more from Kansas

I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.

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