Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
