Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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