Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
