Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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