Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
