Little spoons don't ask big questions
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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