shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
