gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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