I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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