walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
