I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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