McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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