We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
