The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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