I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
