Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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