We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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