Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
