as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
