dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
