Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
