My Higher Power is John Stamos
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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