Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So apparently I’m into choking now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
