So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
