How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
