hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
