know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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