I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
