you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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