Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
